Nagging Feeling
2021/09/14 04:13:09 網誌分類: 生活
If something “hits you” it means it suddenly occurs to you. After it suddenly occurred to me I’ve been out of Hong Kong for over a month, the nagging feeling hit me. The nagging feeling I have is that if I continue to only speak English I will gradually not be able to speak Cantonese as fluently as I can now. This means I now continuously worry I will soon lose my Cantonese fluency and understanding of new Cantonese slang words. I worry I could reach a point when I use it or lose it. As I explained some years ago, the expression “use it or lose it” means if you don’t use something, such as a language, you will gradually not be able to speak it well.
My problem is I have no one to speak Cantonese with. When I am on a plane flying from one relative’s home to another, the flight attendants can only speak English. It’s the same thing when I am in a supermarket or ordering food in a restaurant. I had many Cantonese-speaking friends when I lived and worked in Washington DC and Seattle many years ago. But I have lost contact with all of them. I sometimes call my Hong Kong friends for a long chat on the phone but the time difference makes that difficult.
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我心中有個糾纏不休的感覺(nagging feeling),揮之不去(cannot shake off),這個纏繞的感覺(nagging feeling)襲來(hit me),是在我意會到自己已經待在美國超過一個月之後。超過一個月以來,我幾乎沒有說過廣東話,我的親戚主要都跟我說英語,即使他們還記得一些廣東話的會話。To “nag” someone意即去嘮叨、不斷抱怨或責罵某人;有些家長會常常嘮叨抱怨着(nag)子女在校成績不佳。但to have a nagging feeling在這裏是指持續地有一個擔憂的感覺縈繞在心。To “shake off”在此是指去擺脫一些令你煩擾的事情。
若某事物“hits you”,那即是你突然意識到、明白到。我忽然想到自己已經離開香港超過一個月後,那個纏繞的感覺(nagging feeling)隨即襲來(hit me)。在我心頭糾纏不休的感覺(nagging feeling)是,若我一直只說英語,便逐漸不能像我現在般說流利的廣東話。這即是說,我現在持續地擔憂我的廣東話很快便不再那麼流利,也不再能明白那些新的廣東話俚語。我擔心我會去到一個地步是use it or lose it。正如我許多年前解釋過的,習語“use it or lose it”是指你要麼就用,要麼就作廢了;若你不用某事物,例如語言,你會慢慢地變得不那麼流利。
我的問題是我沒有可以說廣東話的對象。當我坐飛機由一個親戚的家飛往探訪另一個親戚時,那位空中服務員只能說英語。我到超市又或在餐廳點食物時,情況也是一樣。我許多年前在華盛頓特區和西雅圖居住和工作時,也曾有過許多說廣東話的朋友,不過現在跟這些朋友已全都失去聯絡了。我有時會打電話給我的香港朋友,「煲電話粥」長談,但時差令這件事變得困難。
中譯:七刻
Michael Chugani 褚簡寧
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