School jokes

TEACHER:   Maria, go to the map and find North America .

MARIA:       Here it is.

TEACHER:  Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?

TEACHER:  John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN:         You told me to do it without using tables.

__________________________________________

TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

GLENN:       K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

TEACHER:  No, that's wrong.

GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

____________________________________________

TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD:     H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER:  What are you talking about?

DONALD:     Yesterday you said it's H to O.

__________________________________

TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE:     Me!

__________________________________________

TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN:          Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

_______________________________________

TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'

MILLIE:          I is..

TEACHER:    No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'

MILLIE:          All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'   

_________________________________

TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS:     Because George still had the axe in his hand. 

______________________________________

TEACHER:  Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON:      No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

______________________________

TEACHER:  Clyde , your composition on 'My Pet' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE:       No, sir.  It's the same pet.

___________________________________

TEACHER:     Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD:       A teacher.

___________________________      

STUDENT A:   What happens if a teacher is cross-eyed?

STUDENT B:   The teacher is unable to control her pupils.