哭笑不得(轉貼自花花公主手記)

Paralyzed Husband

Most wives love to brag about their husbands when talking to other women. A wonderful example of this conjugal happiness occurred when Sally was discussing her husband with others.

“He's simply wonderful!” Sally said, “He doesn't drink or smoke or run after young girls or leave me alone nights to go bowling with his buddies. He doesn't do any of those things.”

“You are so fortunate!” exclaimed a newcomer to the community, “What's the secret of your successful marriage?”

“My husband is paralyzed.”

癱瘓老公

大部份的妻子在同其他女人聊天時都喜歡誇耀自己的丈夫. 於是, 當莎麗在和他人談論她的丈夫時, 就爆出了這樣一個關於婚姻幸福的絕妙笑料.

「他實在是好極了 !」莎麗說: 「他不喝酒, 也不吸煙, 從來不會圍著年輕姑娘身邊轉, 也不會在晚上撇下我去跟他的夥伴們打保齡球, 這些事他都不會幹的.」

「你真幸運 !」有個新加入這個圈子的女士叫道:

「那麼, 你婚姻成功的秘訣是什麼呢?」

「我丈夫是個癱子.」

(場外旁白:  嫁個癱瘓老公, 除了以上的好處, 在國外還有高額的傷殘津貼呢 !)

Boyish Husband

At the funeral people had never seen a husband so grieved. Fred was sobbing his heart out and beating his breast. He was so distraught that the vicar took him aside to comfort him.

“It's tough, I know,” said the vicar, “but believe me you will soon get over it. And dare I say it,” he paused, “In three or six months you might well meet another woman and …”

“Yeah! I know,” wailed Fred, “But what am I gonna do tonight?”

Alcoholic Husband

This guy left the pub early, hoping to get home early enough not to get into trouble with his wife. When he got home, he discovered that his wife was in bed with his boss.

Back at the pub later, he was telling the landlord the story. “That's indeed dreadful,” sympathized the landlord, “What did you do?”

“Well,” said the guy, “I crept back out again and got back here as fast as I could. They were just getting started, so I reckon I've got time for a couple of extra beers.”